Rahm Emanuel: Another Wannabe Gangster

Posted on 26. Jan, 2012 by Theodore Roe in Organized Crime, Politics

Rahm Emanuel is a man of many names. Some call him Rahmbo. Others prefer Emperor Rahmulus. He was Richard J. Daley’s and Clinton’s financial hitman and Obama’s frontline Pattonesque general.

All these titles, amusing as they might be, still lack the necesary oomph a man like Emanuel needs in order to get things done “his way!”

So how do you bolster your image when you want to be taken seriously? Why, pretend you’re a gangster!

Meet The Rahmfather!

Recently Chicago columnist John Kass recived an anonymous gift. It was a poster (pictured above) portraying Rahm Emanuel as an aging Michael Corleone, circa Godfather 3.

Kass is, of course, interested in exactly who made this stunning mock-up, but I am more interested in what one of Rahm’s aides said to Kass when the writer brought the picture up in a conversation.

“Oh, my God,” said an aide of Rahm’s when I sent a photo. “He’s really going to want this.”

This is a representative of the Mayor of Chicago, talking to a columnist at a major Chicago newspaper, about how his boss (or his Rahmness) wants a picture of himself as a fake maifoso. Does anyone else find this mildly distrubing?

Mayor Emanuel’s bizarre worship of organized crime isn’t a total shock to me, as he is a born-and-raised member of the Chicago Machine, the most powerful organized crime family in Illinois. Still though, all that backroom dealing and behind the scenes political wrangling that makes up the core strength of the Machine lacks the glitz and glamour of that bygone era of Chicago Outfit hooliganism. While he weilds power that modern Outfit gangsters could only dream of, Rahm Emanuel still buys into the childish intimidation tactics that are the hallmark of every Hollywood mobster flick.

He’s sent dead fish to people (and towns) he doesn’t like, berated moneymen into handing over heavy rolls, assaulted a sitting Congressman in a shower, totally buck naked, at the behest of (or at least in the name of) his Capo di tutti cappi and made a fool of himself ranting and raving (in a fine parody of Al Capone in The Untouchables) about political enemies while stabbing a table with a steak knife.

He even keeps around Outfit-connected politicans-cum-fixers, like the Greylord-indited Jimmy DeLeo.

Are these the behaviors of an adult who takes law and order seriously, or the poseur wannabe thug who would probably pee his pants if a real “tough guy” decided to take a piece out of him?

When you get right down to it, the fake tough guy bravado is painted on a little thin. Rahm’s not a terribly intimidating-looking fellow, despite his (I’m sure) much-practiced Robert DeNiro glare. Despite all the rumors, the origin of his partially amputated finger was a mishap with an Arby’s meat slicer. I’ve heard people bandy about the misconception that Rahm was also some kind of Israeli special forces badass, but all he did was volunteer to help take care of IDF equipment during the Gulf War.

In the end he’s just another white collar machine politican Mayor who likes to pretend he’s a thug – which may or may not be an improvement over the last Mayor who actually was a thug. He can win a few oohs and ahhs from the sheep that worship the mafia mentality, but in the end all these juvenile antics do is prove Mayor Emanuel relies on theatrics instead of substance to get his way.

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Tags: barack obama, Bill Clinton, calabrese, Chicago Machine, chicago outfit, gangster, His Rahmness, jimmy deleo, john kass, Michael Corleone, Organized crime, Rahm Emanuel, Rahmbo, Rahmulus, Richard J. Daley, The Godfather, The Rahmfather