Saturday, April 20

Should The Big G Be Your Sugar Daddy?

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Perhaps we should establish an age limit, like with cigarettes and tobacco, for access to products that sport the most egregiously offensive amount of sugar? We know that banning soft drinks in high schools does not work, but maybe we simply haven’t gone far enough to protect the children!

If we institute ID laws for Pepsi, I can practically guarantee that the high school keger party will take on an entirely new meaning. Teens will gather in the forest on Friday nights to guzzle pancake syrup instead of Natty Light. Cans of Coca-Cola will join the pantheon of illicit substances college students secret in false drawer bottoms.

Besides, why should only adults have the wonderful chance to die of kidney failure? So how about banning sugar then? Ever hear of a little event in American history called The Noble Experiment? If not, you should check it out, cause it is the reason a bunch of mob thugs became multi-millionaires.

And how exactly is that war on drugs going, America? Last time I checked we were still floating on a sea of heroin and cocaine, while the federal government and criminal cartels make truckloads of money and gather ungodly amounts of political power.

Ban sugar and it is practically impossible that a whole new breed of criminal (along with a whole new giant, sprawling, serpentine bureaucratic agency) will suddenly snap into existence in order to profit from the sugar lows of an entire nation.

The only thing that will ever stem this tide of obesity is people getting off their rears and taking control of their lives. Maybe the government can help us learn about our food choices, but in the end we are the ones responsible for our own bodies. The best tools to do the research necessary to find out everything you could possibly want to know about the food you eat are more readily available to you than ever before, thanks to a wondrous series of tubes (rest in peace, Ted) that most people have directed linked into their homes, phones, cars and, possibly, any slow moving pets.

So for everyone who thinks the government can fix this problem – wake up, people. You don’t need to eat all the crap that TV, or the government, tells you to.

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  1. Cries of “nanny-state” be damned, the government does and should play a role in protecting its citizens from dangerous products. Obesity and diabetes which goes hand-in-hand with it are epidemic in this country. The cost that we all bear, both the personal cost for those afflicted and the cost to society for the increased price of health insurance and treatment, are enormous and growing at a rapid rate. 

    Contrary to the narrative of this column, the education and taxation approach taken by the government with tobacco products has been extremely effective.

    In 1964 the federal government first publicized the findings of thousands of research studies that showed links between smoking and an assortment of deadly diseases including lung cancer and cardio-vascular disease. At the time that these findings were made public over 42% of the adult population smoked. 

    The education of the public on the dangers of smoking have been ongoing since 1964. At some point in the late 60s or early 70s cigarette advertising on television was banned. Over the years taxes have been added to the price of cigarettes. All of these tactics have had the desired affect. Today only 19% of the adult population are smokers. And smoking has gone from an accepted practice in homes, on airplanes, trains and in offices to a “shameful vice” relegated to outdoors away from the non-smoking public. 

    Prohibition doesn’t work. Education and taxation practiced over time can change the dangerous behavior of many people. 

  2. Just for the record, regarding “The Noble Experiment” of Prohibition, it did result in overall decreased alcohol consumption.  It’s also true that it turned gangsters and mobsters into millionaires.  So for some it did have its desired effect, but for most the benefits were outweighed by the unwanted consequences.