Exorcising Responsibility

After several years of terrible, gut-wrenching stories about mental, physical and sexual abuse at the hands of priests, nuns and other lay-people of the Roman Catholic Church, there is finally a light at the end of the tunnel. Thanks to Father Gabriele Amorth, a root cause for the myriad of despicable abuses has been found and there is a final plan to expunge this evil rhizome from the heart of the Roman Catholic Church forever.
The origin of the problem? Satan has taken up residence at the Vatican.

I will wait while all the Protestants finish jumping up and down excitedly.

No, Father Amorth is not referring to Pope Benedict XVI, nee Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger, the current head of the Roman Catholic Church and de facto King of the microstate of Vatican City. Sure, it seems like the scandals have increased ten-fold since the German-born Ratzinger took over the office. There is the recently uncovered gay prostitution ring in Rome, which counted a Vatican choir member as a pimp for the organization. Ratzinger’s own home diocese has several recently-surfaced complaints about alleged abuse and the Pope’s own brother, Father Georg Ratzinger, has admitted to slapping choir boys. In the eyes of some the Pope might be an incarnation of Satan, but Father Amorth believes the problem to be much bigger than any one man.

Father Gabriele Amorth holds a strange and often not discussed position in Rome. The 84 year old Amorth is the chief exorcist to the Pope. He has carried out over 70,000 exorcisms in his 50 year career and is the founder and first president of the International Association of Exorcists (though this society only recognizes Roman Catholic exorcists – sorry Benny Hinn). According to Father Amorth, all the acts of pedophilia, rape and other physical and mental tortures administered to the faithful by abusive members of the Church leadership are the fault of Satan. The Dark One has apparently taken up residence in the hallowed halls of the Vatican.