Robertson Stands Pat… On Evolution?!

This is where the world as we know it crumbles into dust.

Pat smiled into the camera and said the following:

“People will probably try to lynch me when I say this, but Bishop Ussher, God bless him, wasn’t inspired by the Lord when he said it all took 6,000 years. It just didn’t. And you go back in time, you’ve got radiocarbon dating, you’ve got all these things, and you’ve got the carcasses of dinosaurs frozen in time out in the Dakotas. … They’re out there! There was a time when these giant reptiles were on the Earth, and it was before the time of the Bible. So don’t try to cover it up and make like everything was 6,000 years. That’s not the Bible – that’s Bishop Ussher.”

The crowning achievement, though, is the next line:

“If you fight revealed science, you’re going to lose your children.”

Holy Schnikes! Pat Robertson just told some Fundie lady (and 46% of Americans) to wake the fu*k up!

If you don’t believe me, check out the video right here:

My favorite part is when, towards the end of Robertson’s frighteningly lucid argument for evolution they crank up the “we’re going to commercial ’cause Pat’s gone INSANE” music. I’m sure the music would have started even sooner, if it weren’t for Robertson’s producer having a full-on grand mal seizure up in the production booth.

Pat Robertson’s startling news that Young Earth Creationism is hooey will surely come as a blow to many. After all, Howard Ahmanson, Michele (and her closeted husband Marcus) Bachmann, David Barton, Paul Broun, Charles Colson, James Dobson, the now deceased Jerry Falwell , Ted Haggard, Tim LaHaye, Mike Huckabee, Bobby Jindal, Rush Limbaugh, Richard Land, Joyce Meyer, Chuck Norris, Benny Hinn, Rick Perry, Marco Rubio, Rick Santorum, Jay Sekulow, Rick Warren and Ralph Winter (just to name a few) are all card-carrying evangelical whackadoodles that believe the earth was made in six days (the seventh is for Football).

I congratulate Pat’s (possibly accidental) admission that science might not be the spawn of Satan. I can only hope that as his dementia worsens in the coming years he will continue to refute the core teachings of the psychotic fundamentalist movement. Sabotage from inside is always the most fascinating sort of destruction to watch.